Divorce/Family & Blending

When a family system does not seem to be working or fitting the "fairy tale" ending everyone dreams of, divorce often occurs. However, divorce does not happen as often as everyone believes. There was a boom of divorces in the 70's due to "no fault" divorce but since then the numbers have decreased and continue to do so. After divorce, some individuals choose to remarry. Remarriage is thought to bring happiness and fix all the problems and stress of before. When joining two families though there are often some complexities that are often overlooked. New couples that believe life will be easy when blending their families together are need to remember these facts:
1) It takes 2+ years for "normalcy" in a blended family. Many times the couple gets discouraged when making yours and mine into ours isn't as quick or smooth as expected. It does happen though through a lot of time and patience. My advice- hang in there! Work with your spouse, know that it's not going to be perfect and do your best to bring everyone together. Don't force it though!
2) The birth parent should enforce heavy discipline to the children. This will result in less stress and pressure in the home. When the new parent tries to heavily discipline children the child will question their authority and the spouse will become protective of the child. It's just simpler if parents decide on a punishment together and then the birth parent enforces it.
3) The parent coming in should take on an "aunt/ uncle" role at first. They should listen, spend time with the children, show interest in their lives and support their spouse. This will show the children that the new parent loves them and their mom/dad and are not trying to replace anyone but be a new addition to the family

Blending families can be hard and is taxing on a relationship and family. It can be done just pray for strength, work with your spouse and realize that it won't always be perfect but it WILL be worth it.

Parenting Techniques

"There is no doubt that it is around the family and the home that all the greatest virtues, the most dominating virtues of human society, are created, strengthened and maintained." -Winston Churchill

The virtues in the quote above refer to the the children in our homes, as they are blessing to our lives, as well as the qualities and content that we teach our children. As parents it is our "duty to rear.. children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World.) Having children is no easy task but it is so rewarding!

When it comes to correct parenting many wonder how, what, where and when to it. It can be scary because we are responsible for them! Below are some suggestions for good parenting techniques:

Parenting Techniques:
* Teach children courage, cooperation, responsibility & respect
* Offer contact freely
* Meet the need of a situation instead of changing behavior
* Teach children to contribute
* Give choices and consequences instead of controlling them
* Tell them you love them A LOT
* Teach and apply forgiveness